so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
