he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
