So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize