If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize