I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
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Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
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Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.