How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.