I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
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everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
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This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.