I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize