He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize