Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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