South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
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i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
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Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
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