I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.