and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I am available for nakedness
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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