dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.