grandma shit on top of the toilet
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.