There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
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my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?