so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.