Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper