1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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