Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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