is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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