I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Dear god my vagina.
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