I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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