I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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