I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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