Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize