do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
