I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome