i can juggle bunnies
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.