Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize