Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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