TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
