..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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