Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.