Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
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So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.