I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
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I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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