We're facebook friends in real life
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
foreskin is a definite game changer
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
