Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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