Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
