I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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