i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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