Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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