dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
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i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
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You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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