I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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