I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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