i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My ATM looks so different sober.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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