I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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