You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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