i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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