I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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