I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize