they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
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There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
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A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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