Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
