well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
