All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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