I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
