someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Do vagina's smell?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
