is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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